ANXIETY.

When you’re in the dumps, you feel as if a monster has gripped your soul entirely, so tightly you can’t breathe, you suffocate. Sometimes in that darkness, you’d do anything to feel better. It feels alone, the world passes you by, and you feel nothing. What right do I have to say all these, you say. I don’t see the purpose of keeping up a fake blog any longer.

Goodbye blogging, you’re not for me. Once Book arrives, I’ll kick you to the far corners of my mind. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve let everyone down as well.

Please don’t compare.

Tell me a long lost tale about hope.

I prepared myself to accept you. To erase those old scars. To start over again.

Why are you still the same?

Went out with Jessica today! Wasn’t very productive but tonnes of fun(: Watching devil beside you now. haha, it make me think of smth, that everyone’s beautiful. All the characters in it became good and wonderful people even though some started off as real bad. I guess everyone has the potential to be good! haha!

So about gg out with Jessica. We went for 3rd lang to give mme pang the cake! And had a longggg talk with her about random things. Funny how she doesn’t run out of topics to talk about, but it was really quite nice. Not exactly very heart to heart but everyone was really open and it was real cool to talk to a teacher like that! French teachers are really open and nice(: Haha, i guess teachers are human after all(: Haha, funny how we thought that she wasn’t very nice initially. Glad she appreciated teh cookiecake too!

Then jess adn i went J8. initially wanted to play at the arcade there, but we failed at our first attempt in getting the sheep soft toy and gave up. Visited minitoons like 3 times and walked the whole minitoons like, 3 rounds each time or smth. =.= explored almost the entire of J8 and didn’t do much, both of us were super indecisive. The only productive things we did was to eat out at Delifrance (Choco eclair et pommes frites!) and buy sweets haha! Had quite a nice talk too! Of lots of random things(: Heh! Looking forward to teh art project too haha! And she really packs a lot of electricity inside her o.o everytime we touch we get this feeling =.= static electricity. cos she lah! Starved herself till so thin, then her arm grew hair, plus my alr bushy hands, generates loads of static electricity. bzzpp! Haha.

(: Today was a beautiful day!

80 Things You Might Not Know About Me
Whats your middle name? none
What are you listening to right now? devil beside you._.
What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? 3958. sigh, it’s nothing special>O
What was the last thing you ate? bread?
Last person you hugged? havent hug long time le =.=
How is the weather right now? windows are closed, can’t see ;D
What is the first thing you notice inthe opposite sex? appearances are the first thing that anyone notices =.= unless you close your eye and walk.
Favorite type of Food? all my fave foods are fat ):
Do you want children? LOTS without the painfactor tt is!
Do you drink? nope. im a lawabidingcitizen:D
Hair color? black
Eye colour? black
Do you wear contacts/glasses? yes.
Favorite holiday? december holidays?
Favorite Season? summer.
Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? yah.=.= girl can be friend right.
Last Movie you Watched in the cinemas? ehhhh. many years ago, forgot le ._.
What books are you reading? none
Piercings? one
Favorite Movie? anything moving and worth shedding tears for, not that i do =.=
Favorite college basketball Team? dunhaf any. er nanyang basketball team?
What were you doing before filling this out? watching dby.
Any pets? tortoises! adn all teh lizards and ants and whatnots living in the different areas of my house!
Favorite Flower? rose!
Have you ever loved someone? alot.
Who would you like to see right now? sb, or maybe not o.o
Have you ever fired a gun? nope!
Do you like to travel by plane? yes! HAHA but very nauseated on plane._.
Right-handed or Left-handed? right
If you could go to any place right now where would you go? anywhere away from this damned place.
Are you missing someone? yes
Do you have a tattoo? yes. my big mole =.=
Do you still watch cartoons onSaturday mornings? heh..hehheheh yes
Are you hiding something from someone? yah
ARE YOU 18? 14

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? should be..? 8 hours!
FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THISMORNING? the ending of dby-.-
WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? wads tt
WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? im irritating(:
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? yeah…
FAVORITE HANGOUT? anywhere convenient where you’ll be able to get anything you want. popular’s nice ^^
FAVORITE SONG? eh dno.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? alot
ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? both(: equilibrium!
WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAME cao
WHAT IS YOUR DADS MIDDLE NAME? got meh
WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME? ??
FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? ????
WHO’S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER? eh am i supposed to know ._.
FIRST THING YOU’LL SAVE IN A FIRE? loved ones
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR? lightblue darkblue babyblue white black silver ;D
WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKEWITH YOU? phone and wallet
WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? airstewardess=.= cos my friend wanted to be one and i dno wad tt is

1)Who sits next to you ? shaoting
2)Whos sits infront of you? peiqi
3)Whos on your left? air
4)Whos on your right ? shaoting
5)Who are your bestfriends inclass? shirlynn jiayin hongkai eh, dno how to define best friend._. haha but <3
6)Whos the sporting girl in yourclass? rachel
7)Whos the sporting guy in your class ? guy ah. im the only guy lor ;D jkjk =.=

WHOS THE ..
8)Most shy guy: o0 girl: peiqi!
9)Cutest guy: o0
10)Cutest girl: libin
11)Prettiest? hmm quite alot lah.
12)MOST annoying? me=.=
13)Funniest? alot too
14)Your fav teacher? zls
15)Fav subject? math
16)Whos the class Chairperson ? how’sshe/he ? alicia
17)Whos the Vice-Chairperson ? Howsshe/he ? yeujia
18)Your class is. <3
19)Do you love your class ? (: of course -.-

I TAG:
eh, anyone?

I am suddenly very inspired to make a cake!

What she said is right, machines can’t do what effort and the right feelings can do. A cake can relay the deepest happiness to the consumer(: I’m suddenly very very inspired!

Beat an egg for almost half an hour just now! And I got it to the right consistency! It didnt flop over on my head! Hurray! Haha! YAY I’m very very very inspired to work hard and bake cakes instead of cookies!

Watching the renowned devil beside you now. It’s those kind of taiwanese fan serials again, with all the exaggerated stuff and idealistic lives, ideal love and personalities, whereby the protagonist will be ‘perfect’ and weak and always get the best.

I guess everyone holds different ideals about love and all. Quite amused by the many responses towards the show, all full of those ideals and all. Quite amused by all those teenage taiwanese dramas. The similarity of most of the female protags is that they’re all portrayed to look cute and vulnerable and weak, with exaggerated speeches and all. Maybe that’s the characteristic of taiwanese dramas that charms many of their audiences.

The attraction holds for me, but after a while it gets irritating -.- too dramatic.

“There are people who intend to hurt you, but there are also people who get hurt because you are hurt.” haha managed to find one nice quote out of the show.

Examinations are finally over! Haha, what a breather! But now it’s time to work on other stuff, which are…quite a lot heh! Starting with COOKIE BAKING with Jessica! I shall start learning to work on a new system of efficiency(:

I don’t see the purpose of this anymore. Should I close it down as well? It hasn’t encouraged my maturity one bit, and it’s only serving as a platform for me to complain further.

All this while, I’ve been lying to myself.

Great joy.